Legendary Comic George Wallace on Sandler, Walker and Lying

This weekend D.C. has the good fortune of having one of the most legendary stand up comics alive gracing the city. The record holder for longest running show by an African American performer in Las Vegas, the world’s greatest Tweeter, and co-creator of the upcoming Amazon TV series “Clean Slate, George Wallace. I talked with Mr. Wallace over the phone before his shows this weekend at The DC Improv and he was quick to share his opinions about Herschel Walker, his favorite Adam Sandler movie and why comics are more fun than musicians.

District Fray: Do you have a good Halloween?
George Wallace: Oh, are you kidding me? I love Halloween, I do. Two years ago I went dressed as a butler and they worked the hell out of me, I made some big tips, and last year, what I do last year? I loved watching the kids, I turned my sprinkler on and left the dog on the front porch. To hell with them kids.

What was yesterday’s costume?
Well, yesterday, I just stayed in because I live in a condo, and not too many kids come in the condo. You know, Halloween is the second most expensive commercial holiday? Did you know that? A Snickers bar costs $2.79 and when you give them out those kind candy bars, you have to be very discriminating, do I know that kid? Do I know who you are? I ask ’em what party they’re voting for. Some of the kids get candy, some don’t!

You’re in one of my favorite Adam Sandler movies, “Hubie Halloween.” You play the mayor in that. You also play the mayor in “Batman Forever,” which is another one of my favorite movies growing up. When are you just gonna be the mayor?
There’s another Adam Sandler movie in there too, where I was in the church.

“Little Nicky?”
Yeah, “Little Nicky,” I think I was the mayor of that city too.

Do you have a favorite Sandler movie?
You know when you’re an actor you don’t know, you’re gonna do your best and then get the hell outta there.

So whichever one you had the most fun was the best?
Yeah, I think “Hubie Halloween” paid the most.

So when are you going to run for office?
If I run, I might win. The people would love me. They just love me cause I just do things today.

Just good things like that. First of all I’d straighten out the DMV, there’s always a line at the DMV. Why? And I don’t give a damn what state you live in. There’s a line. Straighten that out. Little things like that. Fix all the potholes in the world. Stop robocalls. Every time you get a robocall you get $500. They would stop. I got five calls this morning, people calling about my property. I call back and I curse ’em out. If I wanted to sell my property, I put a f–king sign out that says for sale, stop f–kin’ bothering me.

You work all the time. You’re, you’re constantly doing shows. Would you ever wanna do a late night show, host a late night show, take a like James Cordon’s job?
Back in the day, I would’ve. But now it’s a lot of work. I’ve been doing this for 47 years. And I don’t wanna sit down every day. I’m writing a TV show now called “Clean Slate.” I’m in the writers room and I’m busy all day, so I can’t imagine doing that every day.

But we’re gonna be educating and introducing social matters and issues to America, and having fun doing it. I hope we’re doing it for the next seven years. Should be start shooting here in Atlanta. My hometown. Born and raised Atlanta, the movie capital of the world. I hope you knew that. Not LA anymore. Atlanta.

I do now. Absolutely. Atlanta’s where it’s at.
We have a lot of Black people. You know the movie “Wakanda Forever?”

Yeah.
They wanted to make those movies in Africa. They went over there for Wakanda and when they got there they didn’t have enough Black people, they had to call Delta. My friend Trevor Noah’s in Atlanta right now and he said he’s never seen that many Black people in his life, and he’s from Africa.

You are one of the most beloved and respected comics in the world. I think it’s just because you work so hard, you’re on tour. You did a huge residency in Vegas, but you haven’t let all that work make you stop writing.
You just keep going. I’m writing today. I’m mad because there’s a political situation in Georgia, and we got Herschel Walker running down here and I’m just mad as hell and I don’t like him. I like him as a football player, but I don’t like him. A guy that’s running for senator and can’t read. As my dad would say Herschel Walker running for office makes as much sense as having an ashtray on a motorcycle. So I’m a little crazy, and now I hate all the walkers. I’m just mad at all the walkers. Jimmy Walker, don’t like old Jimmy Walker. Don’t like Johnny Walker, Johnny Walker Red, Black, Johnny Walker Blue. I hate all the walkers now.

Okay, so that’s-
Luke Skywalker, gospel singer Hezekiah Walker, anybody on walker I don’t like anything you can do with a walker. We need a runner, not a walker.

I love it, I was gonna ask you if you, if there’s anybody in particular you wanted to talk smack on, but I’m glad you you brought it up.
I talk smack about everybody you know, mad about Clarance Thomas. I remember he came to my show, wanted to chew his ass out. The hell with him and his wife, Ginni. They’re not walkers, but the hell with them anyways.

Oh, always comedians. Are you kidding? Comedians get, We love each other. We have a little fraternity, and nothing is better than our little community.

Not many people can do what we do, you know? And especially the close friends that we have in common. Are you kidding? Oh my God. Singers, they’re kind of serious, but comedians we’re always crazy looking for a joke somewhere. It doesn’t matter if it’s when people die we just have to go “Too soon? Too soon?” We’re ready to get a joke. Bam. Keep people laughing. The greatest job in the world, and all I do is lie. I just love to lie. Great job.

You always hear about people dying of "natural causes". Shout out to all the folks taken out by supernatural causes. Asshole ghosts straight up yankin' on the steering wheel and whatnot.

— George Wallace (@MrGeorgeWallace) October 29, 2021

George Wallace performs at the DC Improv November 4 + 5. A fifth, late night show was added for Saturday night. All other shows are sold-out. 

George Wallace: georgewallace.net // @mrgeorgewallace

DC Improv: 1140 Connecticut Ave. NW, DC; dcimprov.com // @dcimprov

Joe McAdam