Ask Alice: Rewiring the Mind to Better Deal with Stress

Happiness is all in the mind. 

Your mindset affects how you feel and the world you create for yourself. It’s an easy concept to understand but a difficult one to embody.

Everyone has one friend who feels like they just have bad luck. But how much of that is the result of their view on their life and experiences?

Your mindset is everything. The more you explore this space, the more you can try to incorporate practices which train your brain as more growth and solution-oriented. It’s easy to get trapped in negative thought loops, where you feel like you’re never enough and are paralyzed by anxieties. 

To create a radically different life for yourself, you need the discipline and courage to think and act differently. You need to radically change how you think about yourself and your ability to co-create with the universe. 

“Mindset shapes how you perceive reality, which will directly affect your mental health,” Birch Thomas, local D.C. photographer says. “If I find my mindset doesn’t align with my truth, then I will push pause and recenter myself.”

Before I had a morning routine, I felt like my mood and mind were all over the place. It was easy to be influenced by someone or something else. When I started the day on my own terms, I discovered I was able to be more mindful about shaping my day. From that moment, everything started to shift. 

But like most things, you need to be consistent and incorporate it into your daily routine. You don’t see results after one day at the gym so don’t give up on the process of cultivating a new mindset. 

My biggest tip: For the first few minutes of the day, avoid looking at your phone. Instead, spend some time thinking about how you’d like the day and set an intention. Your morning routine can be a few minutes or an hour. It’s whatever works for you and can change from day-to-day. 

Meditation is also transformative. 

“By taking a few moments to exhale stress and inhale new energy, I’ve found [meditation] as a powerful practice for shifting my energy and letting negative thoughts fade,” Thomas says.

Want more morning and evening ritual tips? Check out my podcast episode about it.

More spiritual wisdom re: stress. 

Q. I’m constantly stressed about money. I never feel like I have enough. How can I change this?

A. Financial security is all about your mindset. 

When I first worked on my money mindset, I thought about my first memory of money and what I learned from my parents about managing it. This exercise can reveal the source of your feelings regarding money and if you view it from a place of abundance or scarcity, which is the beginning of the healing process. 

More importantly, it’s about how much you trust and believe in yourself when it comes to survival. Do you think you can get a new job if you’re fired from your current one? Do you believe you can create the right product for your customers? Can you trust that even though you don’t currently know the answers, you’ll figure it out?

Believe in your ability to persevere and everything will fall into place. 

Managing your finances can be challenging which is why having a plan and budget is important. Talk to a money-savvy friend or hire a professional to help you budget, save and plan for your future. 

Lately, I’ve been incorporating money gratitudes into my daily journaling. I write down something I’ve bought and why I’m grateful I was able to purchase it. 

Q. My job is super stressful. When I wake-up, I hate the thought of going to work. I always feel like I’m being pulled in a million directions. How can I feel less frazzled? 

A. My clients ask me this all the time. There’s one thing you can start doing tomorrow which might serve as a catalyst for shifting your life.  

When you’re pulled in many directions, it means you need to put more boundaries in place. Do you need to talk to your supervisor about your workload? Are you feeling pressured to answer emails at all hours of the day? Can you ask someone for help? I understand this may be difficult based on a job’s specific demands. Try to do a meditation at the start and end of the day to help you contain the energy of work, instead of allowing it to bleed into your personal time. 

If the above doesn’t work, it could be a wake-up call. The message you probably don’t want to hear, but need to hear, is: It may be time to find a new job. You don’t need to trade emotional and mental safety for financial security. Don’t be afraid to start over. There’s something better waiting for you on the other side.

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