Music
Billie Eilish Happier Than Ever kids merch. Photo from twitter.com/billieeilish
Back-to-School Band Merch
August 26, 2022 @ 12:00pm
It’s the time of the year again. I mean, you can’t tell because of global warming, but fall is approaching and school will be back in session. If you don’t want the kids/adults/other professors to make fun of you, you’ve got to upgrade that wardrobe. And there’s no better way to do that than with some slick band merch. So keep on scrolling and pick up some gear from some big-name artists and smaller bands alike. The other kids/adults/professors will definitely think you’re cool and will not at all think you’re trying too hard. Trust me.
Billie Eilish Sweatpants, $100
Okay, so these are very expensive for sweatpants, but they look kind of sick right? In general, I think Billie is killing the game when it comes to merch. If you go to a cool fun school where cursing is allowed (college) you could pair it with this “Just Fucking Leave Me Alone” hat. Or if you go to a lame baby school that doesn’t allow cursing (high school) you could rock it with this “Happier Than Ever” crewneck in a fun ironic way. So many options!
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Rico Nasty Dad Hat, $30
If you’re looking for something that’s simultaneously more subtle, and also not subtle at all, you can always grab some gear from the Nasty Mob and buy this hat. You’ve got to respect that Rico is a Maryland girl who is making all of her dreams come true and looking cool as hell while she does it. Also, her new album is so good! I wish I could recommend this very cool tank top, but it’s sold out. I will be setting up Depop alerts for that one.
Turnstile Glow On Hoodie, $50
And speaking of local heroes, pairing your Rico hat with a Turnstile hoodie would be quite the fashion cocktail. This soft pink and blue number will make you seem approachable, cool and in the know, but it will probably not get you into any sold-out shows (sorry baby).
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I’m Not Okay Crewneck, $40
This isn’t official My Chemical Romance merch, which is how you can tell I’m too big of a fan. You know things are getting weird when you start going through TikTok tags and your Instagram explore page to find the DIY stuff. If you’re trying to stunt on the other people on the My Chem tour, or you just want to confuse your new friends at school, go with this under-the-radar pick.
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Backxwash Split Long Sleeve, $40
Scare your friends and unnerve your teachers with this very metal Backxwash long sleeve shirt. It’ll keep you nice and cozy when the weather finally gets cold, and it will make you seem at least 20% cooler. And speaking of Backxwash, “WAIL OF THE BANSHEE” is a great hype song to listen to before school.
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BONUS PICK: Lingua Ignota Album Flag, $35
“Sinner Get Ready” is a truly singular album, so you might as well let all of your guests know that you too are a person with religious trauma and good taste with this cool album art flag! Bonus points if you put it above your bed so those sinners know to get ready.
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